Frequently Asked Questions ABOUT TRYING TO GET PREGNANT

Ovulation predictor kits (OPKS) are test strips that recipients should take at least daily to determine when to try an insemination. They identify your fertile window by measuring the lutenizing hormone (LH) in your urine. LH surges before ovulation, triggering the release of the egg. When it surges and both lines are dark then there is a good chance (maybe 1 in 5) that insemination will work. Other times, the chances are much lower. 

You should take an OPK at least daily, at the same time, once your period ends. Keep taking it till next period starts. It is probably best to do at least twice daily around when you expect to peak.  Record the results somewhere, such as in an app, so that you can uncover patterns from month to month and better predict peak. You don't need anything fancy or expensive, the cheapest brand from amazon or walmart is fine.  And if I happen to be your donor, please share the pics with me so I can both predict your schedule and know that you are serious.

Apps are just a guess based on averages. But every lady, and every cycle, is different. So you really need to test to have much chance of success. If I had a dollar for every woman who said something like "my app says it will be on Wednesday and I know my cycle", and then when Wednesday came she was still 5 days away from peak, I would be a wealthy man.

No. Sperm isn't like milk where it is pretty much good until it isn't. It is continually getting worse as sperm cells slow down and die. If you are lucky you start with a couple hundred million moving (motile) sperm. After a day that is probably cut in half. If you inseminated more than two days before ovulating you probably want to try again. Sperm cells die continuously, until they are almost all dead after five days. The odds of getting pregnant are much lower after five days than one.

Other than not spilling the sample, the three most important things are speed, speed, and speed. Donations are more successful if they are used immediately. So you want to use it as soon as possible, but not in such a rush that you mishandle things. The good sperm cells swim quite well (see the video on my home page) and get to where they need to be quite quickly. Ladies have been getting pregnant from the beginning of time without assuming special positions or (necessarily) having an orgasm. So if getting into some convoluted legs up position or doing anything else is going to slow you down or inconvenience you, just skip it. Insert the sample asap and then go about your day is my recommendation. 

The apps are an average of many ladies, but you are special. And every cycle can be different. So it is very important to do everything possible to pinpoint the right time to try to get pregnant.

Avoid pre-seed, concept plus, or any other "fertility friendly" lubrication unless advised otherwise by a doctor. Women definitely do sometimes get pregnant using it. However, when mixed with sperm they clearly immobilize/kill many of the swimmers. So its best not to use unless you have a very good reason.

It is impossible to guarantee pregnancy in a particular cycle. The best you can do is maximize your chances. Even young, highly fertile women who time everything carefully have at most a 40% chance of getting pregnant in any one month. Human reproduction is hard: ovulation might not occur, sperm might not reach the egg, the embryo might not implant in the uterine wall, it might have a genetic abnormality or other problem leading to a chemical (very brief and normally unnoticed) pregnancy, etc. 

In short, while you probably have an excellent chance of getting pregnant if you keep at it, patience is often necessary. If you go into the process with unrealistic expectation, it is easy to get prematurely discouraged and give up.

Pregnancy odds vary by age and are never above around forty percent per cycle.  Young women trying the old-fashioned way, with regular sex with male partners, take around six months to get pregnant on average. 

Absolutely! While chemical pregnancies are super disappointing, they are often a good sign. They indicate that you are ovulating, that your donor's sperm is swimming well and fertilizing the egg, and the embryo is implanting. Chemical pregnancies are super common but usually not even noticed unless a lady is seriously trying to conceive. So if you have one, try not to be too discouraged. You will likely succeed soon!

The facebook groups often provide a sample contract. I have one that I have based off of theirs.

It is best to inseminate within two days of ovulation. Practically, this means you should inseminate when you get a peak reading on your ovulation predictor kit. More tries can somewhat, but not radically, increase your chances. Tries more than three days from your ovulation have little effect.

Starting to track your cycle is BY FAR the most important thing to do. Many ladies have no idea when they are likely to ovulate, which makes planning for, and optimally timing, a donation EXTREMELY difficult. Get some cheap OPK strips, like the easy@home ones, and start tracking with an app. Its best to test at the same times each day. Prenatal vitamins might also be helpful.

Try to find a donor who is both reliable and has proven successes. Most men have adequate sperm counts, so if you know he has children (real life or donor) with in the last five years, he can probably get you pregnant. 

You should also think carefully about what HERITABLE traits you want in a child. Things like height, intelligence, skin color, will obviously be affected by your choice of donor. Most lifestyle things, like politics, outdoorsiness, taste in food, are much more nurture than nature based. 

Shipping is done via super fast overnight shipping. The sperm is combined with a special liquid that helps it live longer and send at an optimal temperature. It is much less effective than in person donations, but can work.

Probably nothing. Make sure to track your cycle carefully, don't get discouraged, and try again. Remember that even ladies trying the old-fashioned way average at least six cycles to get pregnant.

No. The good sperm move extremely fast, and go towards the egg. But most of semen is not these cells, it is inert seminal fluid. Think of sperm cells as goldfish in a fish tank full of seminal fluid. The fluid you see after insemination is the water in the fish tank. The goldfish are long gone.