How Long and Well Do Sperm Live? Lessons from a Fedex Snafu.

Originally posted January 29, 2022

This evening, I went to Fedex, as I frequently do. In order to get my recipient the freshest possible sample, I arrived at the parking lot around twenty minutes before last pickup, produced sample, and ran through the doors with around 10 minutes to spare. But when I handed the counter lady my package, she told me that it wouldn’t go out until Saturday, and arrive on Monday. Because of the snowstorm, the overnight mail had already left for the day.

I was naturally pretty upset. I had driven half an hour in the snow, had nothing to show for it, and would now have to drive back a similar distance. Though to be fair, in many dealings with Fedex they have only really messed up a handful of times (though regrettably two of those times was with the same poor recipient).

But while it sucks to have wasted an evening, and a sample, to say nothing of possible missed cycle, there is one silver lining. There was no reason to send the donation out, so I now have a sample prepared for shipment, that I can track. So I’ll try to examine it under the microscope periodically.

Below is what I found initially, when I got home. At this point the sample is around 2 hours old and diluted around 2×1 with extender. Note that two hours is a bit quiker that a shipment can be done via express airline services like Delta Dash.

Update at 9AM Following Morning: Below is what swimmers look like now after twelve hours. Seem to be going pretty good. Note this is about the time for earliest Fedex delivery.

Age 24 Hours Update at 9 PM Following Day: Still look pretty good, maybe slowing down a little?

Age 37 Hours Update at 10AM, Shipping Day+2: I think this sample looks better than last nights, still moving!

Age 51 Hours Update at 1150 PM, Shipping Day + 2: Looks like it is starting to lose steam, lets see what tomorrow morning brings.

Age 60 Hour Update at 9 AM, Shipping Day +3: Some are still going, Run Forest Run!

Age 73 Hour Update a 10PM, Shipping Day +3: Some are still going, but most seem to be goners at the point. I’d surprised if any of them make it to their four day birthday tomorrow night.

Age 84 Hour Update at 9AM, Shipping Day +4: After 3 and a half days these little guys are really showing their age. Little bit of movement left, but I doubt they could fulfill their mission at this point.

Age 4 Days: After 4 days activity is pretty minimal. Gonna wait a day to check, at which point I expect they will all be dead.

Age 5 Days: Surprised to find that a couple are still moving. While they say “it only takes one”, in reality it takes millions. So at this point no one is getting pregnant. I’ll wait till tomorrow night to test again, will any make it to 6 days?

Age 6 1/2 Days: I went to a party last night so didn’t get a chance to check at 6 days. Was very surprised to find movement after nearly a week, albeit MUCH less than initial. Can a few make it more than a week? Guess I’ll see tomorrow morning

Age 9 Days: Was busy over weekend and didn’t get a chance to check till day 9. At this point I did not see any movement.